Words on Wednesday

I have always known I suffer from some sort of depression.  I think I realised it sometime after high school. I also think that somehow (well most of the time) I was aggravating my depression by choice. Now before you start rolling your eyes, hear me out. A lot of times my depression stemmed from me ruthlessly comparing myself to my peers. I would walk around making mental lists of all the things I lacked: all my shortcomings. More often than not I was obsessing over relatively irrelevant issues. NOTE: by saying this I am not making light off depression. It is an extremely serious situation often undiagnosed and often untreated. I am simply saying that once I realised I was looking at life in a slightly distorted way, I could actively try and change how I felt about things. Because, the truth was that I had a lot to be grateful for.  It’s often the little things that we tend to overlook that makes a big difference in our happiness.

 Now don’t get me wrong, depression is not something you can simply shake off with a few self help books and a gratitude list or two, but you can start slow and realise you don’t have to figure everything out at once. There are days when I still feel unnaturally sad for no apparent reason, but then I stop and think of all the progress I have made thus far. I have decided to force myself to have positive thoughts more often and send them out to the universe. Perhaps in some minor way I can spread some positive love/energy and motivate others (whether they struggle with depression or not) to adjust their outlook on life.

Here is a list of things I am very grateful for at the moment

·         I have a healthy, happy son who makes me laugh countless times a day.

·         I am grateful for blogging and being able to express myself.

·         I am grateful for warm meals and warm beds.

·         I am grateful for friends. They give great advice but also listen when I need to speak.

·         I am thankful for my brother. He is funny and helpful

·         I am grateful for the fact that I still get to spoil myself every now and then

·         I am grateful books and magazines and being able to share them

·         I am thankful being able to make new friends everyday

·         I am grateful that my family is whole and they are all happy, healthy people.

My number one reason to love life :)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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TILL LATER,LAUREN!