I have always known I suffer from some sort of
depression. I think I realised it
sometime after high school. I also think that somehow (well most of the time) I was
aggravating my depression by choice. Now before you start rolling your eyes,
hear me out. A lot of times my depression stemmed from me ruthlessly comparing
myself to my peers. I would walk around making mental lists of all the things I
lacked: all my shortcomings. More often than not I was obsessing over
relatively irrelevant issues. NOTE: by saying this I am not making light off
depression. It is an extremely serious situation often undiagnosed and often
untreated. I am simply saying that once I realised I was looking at life in
a slightly distorted way, I could actively try and change how I felt about things.
Because, the truth was that I had a lot to be grateful for. It’s often the little things that we tend to
overlook that makes a big difference in our happiness.
Now don’t get me
wrong, depression is not something you can simply shake off with a few self
help books and a gratitude list or two, but you can start slow and realise you
don’t have to figure everything out at once. There are days when I still feel
unnaturally sad for no apparent reason, but then I stop and think of all the
progress I have made thus far. I have decided to force myself to have positive
thoughts more often and send them out to the universe. Perhaps in some minor
way I can spread some positive love/energy and motivate others (whether they
struggle with depression or not) to adjust their outlook on life.
Here is a list of things I am very grateful for at the moment
·
I have a healthy, happy son who makes me laugh
countless times a day.
·
I am grateful for blogging and being able to express
myself.
·
I am grateful for warm meals and warm beds.
·
I am grateful for friends. They give great
advice but also listen when I need to speak.
·
I am thankful for my brother. He is funny and
helpful
·
I am grateful for the fact that I still get to
spoil myself every now and then
·
I am grateful books and magazines and being able
to share them
·
I am thankful being able to make new friends
everyday
·
I am grateful that my family is whole and they
are all happy, healthy people.
My number one reason to love life :)
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TILL LATER,LAUREN!
