LIFE : Keep it moving

 

2021 has been a difficult year. And difficult is so much of an understatement. But, while it might seem easier, therapeutic even, to complain about the year that damn near brought me to my knees, I’ll take a rain check for now.  What I will say however is that 2021 was one big (albeit painful) lesson. One realization that was particularly hard to digest was the fact that most of the time; I am my own worst enemy.  I discovered that I am the only one holding myself back from living the life that I want to live. Yes, that was a bitter pill to swallow but; it was also a necessary one.

However this post is not about my tumultuous 2021 but, rather why I am looking forward to the 2022 . I didn’t make any new year’s resolutions because I normally fall back into my old habits so easily and then I end up feeling even worse for failing at my resolutions. The only thing I want to focus on this year is radiating and attracting positive energy. There have been a lot of times last year where I have made excuses and let myself down. I have also been too focused on other people’s opinions of me and what other people had been accomplishing. I’ve decided that this year I am only going to put in the work and trust the process. We are all on our own timelines and while it might be bittersweet, learning to clap when others win is essential to one’s peace. I look forward to my journey, my process this year. Not just the end result.

I also get to plan my dream wedding this year which I am ecstatic about. I have heard a ton of horror stories about the stress of planning a wedding and what it can do to a relationship but, I am confident that my fiancé and I can both remain sane while doing this.

Then there is my little blog. Up to now it has been more of an escape to me: a hobby that’s become my therapy.  And while it will always be that, I would love to do more look posts as well as work with a few of my favourite brands. And who knows where that could lead. I feel like I should have my site redone first though. It just doesn’t fit my personality or aesthetic anymore.

Lastly, but most importantly, my gorgeous son is happy and healthy. As someone who has been battling with depression for the longest time I cannot express the wonders it does to my soul knowing that I am able to take care of and provide for my son. I’ve been a single mom for most of the kid’s life and that sh*t is hard. There are no office hours and often you receive unsolicited advice and comments from people who do not even have dogs (let alone children). My son brings so much delight and love into my life that every single struggle is worth it. It gives me such purpose.

Ok enough with the sentimental stories. My point is, even with 2021 being one big uncomfortable roller-coaster ride; there is always something to look forward to. There is always hope. And while there is hope, there is always something to be thankful for. 

TILL LATER, LAUREN! 

BEAUTY: #7days7faces - Bronzed Up

Make up has always been my safe space. There is nothing I don't love about it. So needless to say when the time came for @Foyin's #7days7faces I was ecstatic to take part. It's not a new concept, but up to now something has been holding me back from participating. That something was performance anxiety. On the previous occasions I have seen the most amazing work, not only from Foyin, but also from everyone taking part. To be frank, I was worried I would suck.

Nevertheless, I decided that this would be the time I finally participate. I was beyond excited. With my skin moisturized and my make up brushes washed, I planned my look for the first challenge: BRONZED UP. I wanted to do something that I would not do on a normal day. I wanted the look to be fun and creative. So I armed  myself with tons of cream and powder bronzer and, much to my son's amusement, this is what I came up with. 

The sad part is that I got really sick and couldn't participate in the other challenges. There were a few that I was rather eager to interpret , but I got to live vicariously through the other participants. The internet can be a cruel place but this concept, the whole idea, was the exact opposite. It felt like a celebration of sorts, It goes without saying, sick or not sick, I will be going the extra mile to participate in the next one. Please enjoy some pictures from the only challenge I managed. For me,  out of 1 out of 7 was good enough. 

I would love to participate in a few more make up challenges this year. Are there any challenges you participate in without hesitation? I would love to here from you.

TILL LATER, LAUREN! 

LIFE: Boundaries

 

Why am I always tired? As an adult, this is a  question I frequently ask myself. No amount of sleep or self care can take the feeling away. Am I doing something wrong? I have been struggling to feel at least somewhat human over the last two years. I feel like the pandemic has taken everything from me, but I have personally been facing a bigger pandemic: I have no boundaries.

As a mom, being a caretaker comes naturally, but I feel my issue goes back even further than that. As the oldest sibling, I was always making sure my brother was taken care of. This is just what older siblings do. As soon as said sibling grows up or can take care of themselves, you kind of just latch onto someone new to take care of. My problem is that I don't stop. If I don't take care of somebody, I need to take care of something. In other words, doing nothing really doesn't sit well with me. I am not sure how many of you can relate, but I feel really guilty whenever I find  myself with nothing to do or simply just resting. This has been coming back to bite me in the ass lately. Like I said, I am always tired.

The last few weeks I have really been trying to be a little more selfish in terms of how I allocate my time, and how much of it I spend taking care of myself. Something needs to change drastically. I will probably always feel the urge to take care of the people I love no matter how old they are, but I need to dial it back a bit before my cup runs empty.

How I am going to do this? I am not sure. So I hope you were not expecting some sort of resolution in this post. I just needed to admit, out loud and on paper, that I lack boundaries. I am aware of that now. The next few weeks I going to actively look for ways to pour back into myself. Whatever that looks like.

TILL LATER, LAUREN! 

"IT ENDS WITH US" by Colleen Hoover

 I felt every single possible feeling one can feel with this book. To say I  was not prepared for the emotions would be an understatement. With that being said, I would like to mention that the book contains scenes of abuse and sexual assault. If this topic is triggering for you, please do not keep reading.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this post are all my own. This review might contain spoilers. 

PLOT

Lily hasn't always had it easy, but that's never stopped her from working hard for the life she wants. She's come a long way from the small town in Maine where she grew up- she graduated from college, moved to Boston, and started her own business. So when she feels a spark with a gorgeous neurosurgeon named Ryle Kincaid, everything in Lily's life suddenly seems almost too good to be true.

Ryle is assertive, stubborn, maybe even a little arrogant. He's also sensitive ,brilliant, and has a total soft spot for Lily, but Ryle's complete aversion to relationships is disturbing.

As questions about her new relationship overwhelm her, so do thoughts of Atlas Corrigan- her first love and a link to the past she left behind. He was her kindred spirit, her protector. 

When Atlas suddenly reappears, everything Lily has built with Ryle is threatened. 

Some moments in the book are very light and easy to read while others are really dark and traumatic. This is something you need to prepare for mentally. As you can see from the synopsis there is no trigger warning, but the book tackles issues such as rape and domestic abuse. I wish there had been some sort of indication as to what I was getting myself into, but I couldn't put the book down nevertheless. It explores the idea that essentially love has two sides: one side is beautiful and fulfilling and the other is destructive and toxic. This was certainly the case with Lily and Ryle's relationship. The contrast was so stark at times that it felt like I was reading about two different relationships. Needless to say, sometimes  I could relate to the characters (especially Lily) and other times I was furious. How much do you take in the name of love? Where do you draw the line?

I really enjoyed that the author took the time to write from young Lily's perspective as well. It was insightful to see how her friendship with Atlas started  and also the kind of relationship she had with her parents. These relationships essentially shapes how she reacts to Ryle when things are not so great between them. For the most part I spent my time really angry at Lily ,but there was a side of me that could also relate to how she was justifying certain things. Acknowledging unsavory behavior somehow made it real.

I felt uneasy about Ryle from the moment his character was introduced. You get the feeling that there was always a storm brewing or something sinister was always bubbling just beneath the surface. He seemed lowkey manipulative  and slightly forceful. I felt like he had a bit of a superiority complex because of his job and, at times in the book, he proved me right. As the book progresses ,his better qualities do come to light , but it never quite dispels the initial weird feeling you get about Ryle.

IT ENDS WITH US is a book that no doubt will stick with me for a very long time. It forced me to confront how much I had accepted in the past and how very often I have adjusted that limit for the sake of a loved one. Ultimately it is a story about standing up for yourself and ending the vicious cycle of abuse. It left me feeling hopeful. Like, no matter what I have been through, I can always start over. 

Rating 4/5 ****

Have you read this book? I would love to hear from you! 

TILL LATER, LAUREN! 

One of us is Lying!

 I love books that become series. Especially if I really enjoyed the book. My new favourite thing to do is to check whether a series I want to watch has a book by the same name or not . Yes I know, I need to get out more. I was delighted to discover that this was the case with "One of us is Lying". From start to finish this book captured me, so much so that I decided to completely abandon the series in fear of it spoiling the book.

Disclaimer: This book review may contain spoilers so if you wish to avoid them, do not keep reading. Otherwise, let's dive in. All views in this post are my own.

FIVE STUDENTS WALK INTO DETENTION. ONLY FOUR LEAVE ALIVE.

Yale hopeful Bronwyn has never publicly broken a rule.

Sports star Cooper only knows what he's doing in the baseball diamond.

Bad boy Nate is one misstep away from a life of crime.

Prom queen Addy is holding together the cracks in her perfect life.

And outsider Simon, creator of the notorious gossip app at Bayview High, wont ever talk about any of them again.

He dies 24 hours before he could post their deepest secrets online. Investigators conclude it's no accident. All of them are suspects.

Everyone has secrets, right?

What really matters is how far you'll go to protect them.

Although the book was published a while back, May 2017 to be exact, I only discovered it recently and I think it definitely deservers a review. Young adult fiction is slowly starting to become one of my favourite genres.

So by now you have probably gathered that this is a teenage thriller of sorts. I was not too excited  about that being an adult and all, but I was pleasantly surprised. Although a bulk of the story is set at Bayview High school, their is nothing childish about the dialogue. I could relate to and understand the actions of the characters.  They were all dealing with situations that most of us can still relate to and I found myself wondering a handful of times how I would react in that moment.

 My favourite character was Nate. Even though he had an amazingly difficult  childhood, and still has to deal with demons of his past everyday, there is a softness to him. I enjoyed seeing how the relationship between him and Bronwyn developed because they were such polar opposites. There were so many issues that were discussed in the book that I wish was exposed to as a teenager. I was certainly triggered by the role social media plays in everyone's life in the book. Things that did not seem so bad at first were amplified by this gossip site that Simon ran and the consequences were dire.

 I had my suspicions about who the killer was (although I doubted that with every chapter), but I never could have predicted that ending. I loved seeing how events from the past were all tied together. Overall, I am really happy I gave this book a chance. I have given up on the series because it differs so much from the idea I had in my head. I suppose that is not such a bad thing, but because I like the book so much, I would like keep it the way I had it in my thoughts.

I realise this book review might differ from the ones you normally read or might not seem as formal but, since I'm new to doing book reviews , I really wanted it to sound like I was just chatting to a friend. I look forward to doing many more in the future. What are you currently reading?

TILL LATER,LAUREN!

Empties : What made the cut?

I'm ecstatic to finally be sharing my second installment of my "empties" series. The first one was done a while ago because, like I said, I insist on finishing all my products. My budget and my bank balance simply does not allow me to do otherwise. Before we jump into today's post, read my previous "empties" post  here. 

The products I am saying goodbye to today are some of my absolute favourite and I am glad I get the opportunity to share them with you. 

 

CLARINS one step gentle exfoliating cleanser

This cleanser was such a pleasure to use. If you have read my initial  review here, you know how happy I was when I received this as part of a free gift. The 30ml lasted quite some time because you really only need a little bit to achieve results . The smell of orange extract is so refreshing especially in the morning. I am definitely considering getting a full size one. 

NEUTROGENA Hydro Boost water gel

This is literally the best thing I have ever used. I am not even being dramatic. I have never heard anyone say anything bad about this water gel and with good reason. The gel is so lightweight that it absorbs almost immediately. But dont be fooled by that, it leaves your skin feeling hydrated, nourished and supple. You are welcome to read my full review here

Ultimate Originals stimulating growth oil

This gorgeous oil has become such a staple since I started transitioning. It helps repair and moisturize the hair and it has become my savior when protective styling. I apply it directly to my scalp most of the time, but I also mix it my hair mist sometimes. I'm sure this particular oil will remain in my hair care regime for a long while.

YVES SAINT LAURENT's Manifesto L'elixir perfume

I am really sad that this perfume is finished. When I first received it as a gift I did not anticipate that I would love it this much. The smell is perfectly intoxicating. I have had it for a while so I am not even sure if YSL still makes it, but I will definitely purchase it if I get my hands on it.

That's it for today's post .Do you spot any products you enjoy as well in this post? What is on your empties list? I would love to hear from you.

TILL LATER,LAUREN!

Monochromatic dreams

 Hi guys.

So I've been trying to get back into the (fashion) swing of things because  I feel I have been playing things way too safe for the last few years.

Everything changed when I had my son. In my head I was still a skinny person and that's how I shopped for things. Not for my actual body. I would buy things with my skinny mentality and instantly regret it when  I finally  wore the clothes. It was a vicious cycle and it chipped away at my confidence. 

Over the last few years social media has opened my eyes to so many inspiring individuals. All different body types, all different aesthetics but, they all had one thing in common. They all were fearlessly themselves. I love those streetstyle  shots highlighting individual style and personalities and I have decided to take a few myself . I'm taking more risks now and worrying less and I wanted to document it so  that  I can look back every time a feel dull and uninspired. 

There is just something about monochromatic dressing that I am attracted to at the moment. I know these won't get me invited to NYFW anytime soon...but they make me so damn happy!

Everything I'm wearing is from Mr Price except the glasses. Those were a freebie with my favourite magazine. PS. I want to live in these shoes. 

TILL LATER, LAUREN! 

YOU do you. Unapologetically!

Hi everyone and welcome to my first tag post for 2022. Tag posts are my favourite posts to do because you really get a sense of who the person behind the blogger is. Today's post is all about fangirling. The dictionary describes fangirling as "a female fan behaving in  an obsessive of overexcited ". To be frank, I have always thought of fangirling as a negative thing. Being a little unhinged if you will. But, this post is quite the opposite in fact.

I was recently tagged by K Rashell from Diary of an Unbreakable Soul to do this  post and I was delighted. Let me tell you a little about the tag first.  In this case a fangirl approach to life is about purposely sharing the things that bring you joy in life and being unapologetic about it. The Be Unapologetically You movement, created by fellow blogger Izzy Matias, aims to celebrate the things that make you inexplicably cheerful. Without reason and without question. It's literally about being your own biggest fan and bettering yourself. There are seven questions in this tag ,but before I get into that let me explain the rules.

1. Use the Be Unapologetically You banner in your post. It can be the  feaured image or not. That part is up to you.
2. Include the link to this blogging tag (https://www.izzymatias.com/be-unapologetically-you )  in your post .
3. Answer the 7 questions in the tag.
4. Nominate 5-10 bloggers, link to their blogs and tag them on social media to notify them.
5. Have fun!

Let's get into the questions.

• Introduce yourself and your blog while sharing one trivia about you that not many people know. My name is Lauren Vogel and I have been blogging over here at Cool Kids Only Blog for a few years now. My blog is basically anything that comes to mind but I do keep up with books, fashion and beauty quite a bit. One thing people might not know about me is that love singing and I think I am pretty decent at it. 

• What topics do you love geeking out about that you would say are topics that give you bliss?Do you blog about them? Why or why not? If not, would you like to blog about them one time? Fashion and beauty are definitely my favourite things to geek out about. I have loved fashion magazines ever since I was a child and whenever I get to read or blog about it I am at my happiest. My blog covers both fashion and beauty apart from the lifestyle posts. 

• Would you say you are living life by being unapologetically you? Why or why not? If not, what would your life look like if you were unafraid to share more about the things that make you happy? I haven't always been unapologetically myself, but lately I have been intentional about living my truth. If I was unafraid to share the things that make me happy I would be a full time blogger with a quaint little book shop. I would spend my days creating the content I love and sharing it without reservation. 

• Permission to geek out and be unapologetically you: share with us one thing you fangirl over and how you became a fan of it. It can be anything. Your love for soy candles, a band or an underrated film. Like I mentioned before, I am the biggest fan of fashion. From streetstyle to haute couture. I used to make these fashion scrap books when I was younger where I would cut out pictures from magazines and paste them. As an adult I'm still inspired by this. However, now it's evolved to my social media as well. So I would say I still completely fangirl over those fashion scrap books. 

• What do you love most about being a fan?  Just the sense of belonging somewhere or  having a bond with someone because of a common interest. This is how we make most friends and enjoying the same things keep those bonds strong.

• Share a fun or unforgettable fan experience. The closest I have come to an unforgettable fan experience is a celeb interacting with me on social media. I haven't met anyone famous yet, but there is still lots of time. 

I really hope you enjoyed this post as much as I did. It is always so much fun to share a glimpse of who I am on a day to day basis. With that being said the bloggers I nominate are as follows :

Nabeelah from The Fabulosity Diary

Tasneem from City Girl Vibe

Desle from Diva Desle

Megan from Meghan Silva

Kim from A Very Sweet Blog

TILL LATER, LAUREN! 

DON'T get over it!

These last few weeks have been a lot for me. I've been going through some changes. Some growing pains that I was initially so excited about. These changes were going to make life as it was better for me. Was I thankful? Of course! But somehow I didn't anticipate just how the change would impact my mental health. I thrive when I am on a routine and, whenever that routine is disturbed, I spiral. That's why I make lists, I don't like last minute plans and I am very particular about how I spend my days.

Ultimately, I felt like  I was being a little ungrateful. Maybe I was. This amazing thing just happened to my family and I was grumpy and struggling to adjust. I didn't want to be ungrateful but, somehow I could not control these feelings. That's just it. I needed to feel exactly what I was feeling and acknowledge that it was there to stay. I needed to understand the reason behind my feelings. You see, for the last couple of years I have been advocating really hard for being positive in every situation. That was for my own benefit. Whenever I feel myself slipping back into that abyss of depression I immediately break out the old bag of happy tricks. I "self care" the feeling away until it is nothing but a memory.

Lately, that hasn't been working quite as brilliantly as it used to. This was not one of those emotions I could not cover up with gratitude lists and motivational quotes. This required me to get honest and uncomfortable. It would seem that I needed to switch up my form of self care again. Now I am not saying that keeping a positive mind about situations is no longer helping but, in this instance it wasn't the best solution for me.

I didn't want to simply get over it. I wanted to get through and never re-visit the feeling again. I felt like I was well within my rights for wanting to wallow in my sorrows for a bit. As long as you do not let it consume your life, feel what you need to feel. Do not pay attention to people saying that your problems are minor in comparison to others. This year alone has been more than any of us bargained for so I say you don't need to get over it. Not right away anyway .

 I've taken the last few days to really filter through what I was actually feeling and it turns out I wasn't ungrateful. I was just scared of the change. I have been forced into making changes for the last two years and it had taken its toll on me. After admitting that I wasn't sure I wanted more changes, I could start to embrace it.  I'm taking it one day at a time but, I'm really happy that I was able to be honest with myself. Do you need to have the same awkward conversation with yourself?

TILL LATER, LAUREN! 

CLARINS: love in a sample

I recently signed up for the Clarins newsletter and with it came a really cool free gift (to the value of R650) . All I had to do was pay the shipping fee. I wont even lie, I jumped at the chance because  I have loved Clarins products since forever, I just wasn't able to afford many of them. I am so happy I did. I received 4 products and a gorgeous toiletry bag. While I love all the products, the Beauty Flash Balm and Wonder Perfect Mascara really stood out for me. So much so that I am saving up to get full sizes. Today I would like to share a quick review on each of the samples. 

SOS Hydra Mask

I am a gigantic fan of anything hydrating and this mask is no exception. It contains "leaf of life extract" (which I have never heard of before) and is super refreshing and soothing. The light blue liquid turns transparent when applied to the skin. I like to keep it on for at least twenty minutes and then remove any excess with a cotton pad. On the days when my skin looks extra parched, I don't even bother removing it. It honestly leaves my skin feeling lovely.

The Gentle Exfoliating Cleanser

The orange extract in this cleanser is why I enjoy it so much. The fresh, citrusy smell is perfect to give you that wake up call in the morning. It's gentle enough to use everyday and on any skin type. I also appreciated that it was slightly bigger than the other samples. This cleanser makes a definite impact on my skin.

The Wonder Perfect Mascara 4D

This has to be the best mascara I have ever used in my life. The sample (in perfect black) packs a whole lot of punch. I love everything from the way it applies to the shape of the brush. It is also relatively easy to remove. My lashes have never looked more striking.

The Beauty Flash Balm

This was the biggest hit out of all the samples for me. The packaging claims that the little white tube contains everything you need to "tighten and brighten" and I am completely sold. The balm is particularly helpful after a late night with friends or before an early soccer morning. On top of that it smells wonderful. My skin adores it. 

I know I didn't have one bad thing to say about the products but, I really have had a wonderful experience with all of them so far. I only wish that they were bigger but, that goes without saying. I've decided from now on I will feature more samples on my blog because it is a brilliant way for my readers and I to discover possible gems and also to figure out what is not worth the hype. I do hope you have been somewhat enlightened by this post. Feel free to share some of your favourite samples (or full sized) products with me.

You can shop Clarins at www.clarins.co.za 

TILL LATER, LAUREN!

Take a minute...

 Over the last two years I have heard the word "self love" more than I count. I saw it on every blog, in every tweet and as countless hashtags. Even television jumped on the bandwagon trying to convince us to buy products in the name of self love. I have to admit, at first, I associated the term with luxury and opulence. Shopping sprees to mend the heart or a vacation on a yacht to ease the mind. However, while I do like nice things, I found that self love showed up in a different form for me. And the same goes for everyone. Some might find a lavish bath and a glass of wine a form of self care while for others it simply means switching off their phones. 

It took me a long time to figure out where my peace actually comes from. Self love is not always grand. I've come to realise that for me the smallest things can make a difference. These are a few things I do when I start to feel overwhelmed.

* I read a book. Even just a few pages allow me to focus on something else for a bit. More often than not I get so lost in the book that it feels like my brain had a little vacation. There are few things I enjoy as much as a good thriller.

*I re-watch a series that I liked. If I know a series  put me in a good mood before I watch it again to experience that same feeling. It might seem silly but, knowing what is going to happen puts my mind at ease.

*I take care of my hair. My favourite thing to do is wash and braid my hair. The tedious process requires a lot of time and I always feel like I have accomplished something big when I am done. When lockdown started and I couldn't visit my hairdresser I had to learn how to braid my own hair using YouTube videos and I love that I managed to get it right.

* I paint my nails. Now this might seem like a really small thing but, for me it isn't. Painting my nails and waiting for it to dry requires me to sit and do nothing for a few minutes whether I want to or not. Doing nothing does not come easy to me because I always feel guilty. When I am painting my nails, however, I have no choice.

*I work on my blog. I started my blog while I was at varsity as part of a project and after that I just kind of neglected it. These last two years my blog really became an escape for me. I stopped focusing on the numbers started zoning in on the feeling that publishing a post gave me. Again, it felt like I had really accomplished something big every time I hit that "publish" button.

*I pray. My religion is a crucial part of how I survived this year. It brought me a sense of comfort and hope and it was a feeling that I couldn't get from anywhere or anyone else. I have started to make reading the bible and praying an essential part of my self care routine.

*I talk to my son. I put this point last because it is definitely the most important. If you know me personally, you know that my almost 11 year old son is my world. He is kind, funny and wise beyond his years. Whenever I am in a bad mood or I feel myself slipping into that dark hole of depression, I talk to him. He never fails to put life into perspective for me and, whenever I am in his company, I realize just how blessed I am.

Self care might look different to all of us but, I urge you to find your own groove and really think about what brings you peace of mind. The media will always try to sell us on a certain 'type' of self love but, it is important to remember that it is about you and only YOU. I hope you take the time to figure out what self love means to you and when you discover exactly what you need, I hope you have the guts to stick to it without apologies.

TILL LATER, LAUREN!