On a normal day it's not easy being a 20 something year old woman as it is. Throw in being a single, working mom in a country where so many children lose their lives to hideous crimes and I'd say you have the perfect recipe for a cocktail of nerves,anger and frustration.
You see, people are quick to tell you about the joys of motherhood. And believe me, 90 percent of being a mother is beyond amazing. Experiencing an almost out of body love for the little person you brought into this world makes you feel like you want to be the best person you can be. Yes, motherhood is all of the wonderful things (and more) that women tell you about.
But when my son is safely tucked in at night, an innocent scroll through facebook turns me into a ball of panic. I wonder why no one has ever mentioned this side of motherhood to me. The part where I would lie awake at night and wonder how I can keep my son safe at all costs. The part where suspicion creeps up on me everytime my child is around new people. The way a piece of my heart dies every single time I watch the news and I hear about little lives being taken in senseless crimes. It kills me because I feel furious and hopeless at the same time. My son is the love of my life.
The only thing that keeps me sane is prayer. I pray for my son, I pray for myself, my family and the countless children around the world who have no one praying for them. I have come to realise that in life there are no guarantees and instead of using my time to worry I use it to love and pray even more. Staying positive in current times is just about the hardest thing to do but it is a choice I have made.
I wrote this post because I wanted other mothers to know that they are not alone. We all share the same fears. However, there is power in prayer. Let us pray for peace. Not only in the world but, also within ourselves.
TILL LATER, LAUREN!
